Welcome to The Complete Theory Of Everything

Welcome one and all*

(Or welcome 'one'. Myself).

To...

Yes it's me, back again.

Back from where and who are you?
Back from the absolute brink. Back from blogging exile. Hell, I haven't blogged properly in almost ten years -- have they changed anything? Haha, just kidding. I know they haven't! I know that blogger is still the number one blogging platform to use and that everything else will be exactly the same as it was in 2003.

As for who I am? My name is Crystal and I write books and publish some of them on Amazon. Some of my reviews are "this was a little odd" and "let's just say I didn't like it."

But I won't get any reviews like that for this blog.

I love metaphor, meaning, semantics, philosophy and blogging about all those things.

And there's one more thing I love: being right about everything.

When Einstein died he left his complete theory of everything, well....incomplete. I think it was his dying wish on his death bed that I complete his work. Well, we are both Pisces. So it makes a lot of sense.

I don't think your lives overlapped?
Thanks, I am incredibly young.

It sounds great, I can't wait.

Thanks, see you soon

xx

Comments

Can you be a writer and hate writing stories?

I have heard at least one million writers say something along the following lines: "Oh my god, I was just so free when I finally realized I didn't have to write what my English teachers expected of me! Now I am writing whatever I want, and having fun doing it." And I get it. These writers are having the time of their lives writing spy novels and sci-fi thrillers and best selling romances. I am jealous that this is what they love. I tried to love it too. And I tried to write it. Boooy, did I try to write it. But where does that leave well meaning bitches like me who deep down *do* want to write the kind of stuff you get taught in literature classes? What are we supposed to rebel against? I am nothing if not a brat, and I don't want to make my old teachers happy and proud of me??? I've realized I'm going to have to rebel against rebelling. From this point onwards, I am embracing my inner literary snob, because that is where I get my jollies. That is wher...

Why do writers have to love words?

I've always had a hostile reaction to the romantic notion that writers are supposed to 'be in love with words'. I just don't feel that emotion towards words, it's not natural and it doesn't fit, the same way I don't really find babies cute on a visceral level. Of course, you have to coo and make the right sounds when you see a baby, and when you're a writer, and someone says, "oh, so you love words then", you have to say "haha, of course...they are just so beautiful." Whilst inside I feel dead. I guess I am the writer equivalent of a sociopath. I pretend to have normal writerly emotions to words and language when secretly I want to skin them alive. Why DO writers have to be "in love" with words. I'm not. They are one of my worst enemies. They only obfuscate meaning, get in the way of truth. I only use words to make fun of them, to expose their deficiencies. You can build with them, make them do and say any...

What writer I am now.

I want every page I write to be fresh, a new world to itself and me, I want to be surprised and sometimes very disgusted by what I write I have moved from straight genre sci fi to a messy metaphysical melting pot. From nihilism to meaning and every now and then back again I got up in the other night in the middle of the night to write a story I loved at midnight but found quite dull when I was also me at 10am in the morning. But in the end it was a disjointed story of allegories for life on another planet, strange physical intimacies that make you squirm, and a character who can't go to sleep yet because she needs to eat another orange. I wish to become the avant-garde writer of your waking nightmares. I already am. A nightmare writer but occasionally something really good comes out that someone else might love. As long as I love and commit to every word I write that really is all that matters. Every word can't be wonderful. It needs to be jagged and messy and inc...

The Complete Theory Of Everything

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